Musician humor
In honor of April Fools Day (yes, I know it was last week), here are some jokes musicians tell on each other—occasionally really mean spirited!
Q: How do you know when the stage is level? A: The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.
Q: What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend? A: Homeless
"Mommy! Mommy! When I grow up I want to be a guitar player!" "Now Johnny, you can't do both!"
Q: If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions: an in-tune tenor sax player, an out of tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus? A: The out of tune tenor sax player: the other two are myths.
Q: How do you make a chain saw sound like a baritone sax? A: Add vibrato.
Q: What do you call 5000 banjos at the bottom of the Grand Canyon? A: A good start
Q: How do you get a rhythm guitarist to play softer? A: Give him music to read.
Q: How long does a harp stay in tune? A: About twenty minutes, or until someone opens the door.
By the way, the composer Camille Saint Saëns (1835-1921) wrote a wonderful musical joke about pianists, whom he included as one of the animals in his Carnival of the Animals. We hear them endlessly practicing their scales!
I have a lot more. And, I must say, these jokes don’t represent the musicians I know. That’s what makes them funny.
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